Essay: Once Upon A Time, Not So Long Ago

Many of my writing are well received by some. And I will be honest, I feel good about that. I feel good that my own self analysis might have inspired some self analysis for others. This was not the main purpose of these writings, but was rather a unintended side effect.

But, there was a cost as well. I am a science buff and know a lot about the laws of science, and Newton's laws of motion really to play into this.

• First Law: An object at rest tends to stay at rest, or if it is in motion tends to stay in motion with the same speed and in the same direction, unless acted upon by a sum of physical forces.
• Second Law: A body will accelerate with acceleration proportional to the force and inversely proportional to the mass.
• Third Law: Every action has a reaction equal in magnitude and opposite in direction.

So when a t-ball is sitting on the post, it will not move until struck by the bat (first law). When the bat strikes the ball, the ball will accelerate in proportion to the energy and direction of the bat (second law). When the bat strikes the ball, the ball reacts, but so does the bat through vibrations, sometimes painful, moving down the bat and into the hands and arms of the person holding the bat (third law).

Much in the same way, my writings (first law action), although personal and directed at me, had a positive impact on some (second law result), but also had a negative impact on others (third law reaction). This caused some to react to me in a negative way. And these negative reactions may have had a positive impact on those reacting, but the impact of their response was not positive for me (third law all over again).

This caused me to rethink what a community was for. What do I need to get from a community and how can I fulfill my other needs for creativity and self-analysis? So I read the About Us link at the bottom of the home page for the community and one sentence stuck with me; "We're committed to providing patients with access to the tools, information, and experiences that they need to take control of their disease".

So where does this leave my need to write to self-analyze? This site does not have this tool, and probably rightfully so, as there are many tools already available to do this. So I moved my personal analysis stuff to a blog. I write about my feelings as I deal with this. And while this may have taken something positive away from others, it is not that it is gone, but rather that it is moved and its new location is not a secret. But I have removed the negativity for others as those that don't like me, for whatever reason, won't take the time to look up my blogs from my profile because they don't like me.

I understand that many, including I, have made friends in the community and that is great, but there is also a downside to that (remember the third law), creation of friends also result in the creation of enemies or maybe non-friends if enemy is too tough of a word. By aligning ourselves with someone, if they or you take offense or a stance against someone or something that has happened in the community forums, you run the risk of exposing your underbelly to the friends or supporters of the person or act: Therefore increasing tensions and making life uncomfortable.

I don't play the blame game. I don't care who threw the first stone, because I firmly believe it is the person that is first to put the stones down that is the better person. I am not perfect, as I have been known to lug a stone or two to the very end of a battle, but I am trying to learn from those mistakes.

I don't post much here anymore for two reasons, first because I have been extremely busy with improving my un-digital life, and have been very successful, but also because I don't have a lot of time to research this disease and therefore having nothing positive to contribute to what I believe the community is about.

I strongly believe that we all have a lot to learn about not only this disease, but in living, coping, and teaching others about this disease. We can learn through other's informational findings, shared experiences and even through off-topic conversations, but we will only get from it what we give to it. We waste so much time wasting away in the negative aspects of this community, which is like all other communities in not only the online world, but the real world as well.

We all have different political, religious and social beliefs, and these beliefs are what define us. For some the perfect medicine is humor, while for others it is knowledge. The word hyper-vigilant keeps getting mentioned a lot throughout the world, but hyper-vigilance is simply a more politically correct way of saying overly sensitive, but we don't say that because people are over sensitive to be called over sensitive. See the circle I just ran there? It is a vicious one to say the least.

Smile and nod is not a way to live life, but being over sensitive to everything is no way to live either. By simply understand the tools you have before you is enough to better understand what tool is the right tool for the job. You wouldn't drive a nail into oak with a router. No you would find a hammer or at least something that was hammer-like. You wouldn't go to sex-offender registrar looking to find a date or at least I hope you wouldn't. You would go to dating site, church, bar, bowling alley or strip club for that; maybe.

So why treat a site trying to provide a tool for people suffering from a medical condition like some kind of social site. If you want to get in fights with someone, go buy a video game like Call of Duty. You will find that killing people virtually (in a video game, not real life) is much more satisfying than making someone who is already in pain hurt more. If you are looking to express yourself creatively, start a blog. If you are looking to increase your own pain and suffering, go drive a car into a tree (not recommended by the way).

But if you want to be understood for the medical condition you have and to be comforted and consoled as well as comfort and console others, as well as learn more about your disease and some of the treatment options available this place could be the place for you.

We need to stop trying to make it a one-stop shop for everything under the sun. The community is a great router that allows you to carve out the knowledge we all crave, but we have to stop trying to use it as a wrench, crutch and hammer. Hopefully this essay won't generate the anger and resentment a few previous ones did, but how other chose to react, that isn't my choice.